Hammerhead: Remember those appetite suppressants that were like caramels? Well, they used to make these diet aids and put them in caramel candies and they were so good. Shit, no wonder I couldn't lose any weight on them cause I'd eat the whole box.
Me: Wow. That's like taking a bunch of meth.
Hammerhead: Well they were damn good, whatever they were!
Monday, March 26, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
hammerhead vs. distinguished client
Hammerhead: [to distinguished office visitor waiting to talk to the boss] Would you like some coffee?
Visitor: Why yes, thank you.
Hammerhead: How do you take it?
Visitor: With cream.
Hammerhead: Just cream? No sugar?
Visitor: Right.
Hammerhead: What kind of cream?
Visitor: Uh, just plain old regular cream I guess.
Hammerhead: We have irish coffee cream, vanilla cream, and hazelnut cream.
Visitor: Oh, well then, how about vanilla.
Hammerhead: None of the creams are low-fat, is that okay with you?
Visitor: Um, yes, that's fine.
Hammerhead: Okay, and how much sugar do you take it with?
Visitor: Oh, I don't know, not much. Just a bit.
Hammerhead: You know what, why don't YOU just go get the coffee yourself?
Visitor: Why yes, thank you.
Hammerhead: How do you take it?
Visitor: With cream.
Hammerhead: Just cream? No sugar?
Visitor: Right.
Hammerhead: What kind of cream?
Visitor: Uh, just plain old regular cream I guess.
Hammerhead: We have irish coffee cream, vanilla cream, and hazelnut cream.
Visitor: Oh, well then, how about vanilla.
Hammerhead: None of the creams are low-fat, is that okay with you?
Visitor: Um, yes, that's fine.
Hammerhead: Okay, and how much sugar do you take it with?
Visitor: Oh, I don't know, not much. Just a bit.
Hammerhead: You know what, why don't YOU just go get the coffee yourself?
hammerhead vs. the forward button
Hammerhead: Hey, did you get the email that I sent you? The one that had a poem about a guardian angel watching over you?
Me: [through clenched teeth] Yes. Thank you.
Hammerhead: I love those poems. Whenever someone forwards them to me I print them out. I have stacks and stacks of them!
Me: [through clenched teeth] Yes. Thank you.
Hammerhead: I love those poems. Whenever someone forwards them to me I print them out. I have stacks and stacks of them!
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