Hammerhead: Did you hear about the big wreck on I-5 last night? Well, my daughter was in the middle of it.
Me: OH MY GOD! Is she okay?
Hammerhead: Yeah, she's fine. She's real heavy. She's got a lot of padding. They got in the wreck cause they'd been drinking. And I asked "Did you have your seatbelts on?" and she said "We did by the time the cops showed up."