Monday, January 30, 2012

hammerhead vs. fender bender

Hammerhead: Did you hear about the big wreck on I-5 last night? Well, my daughter was in the middle of it.

Me: OH MY GOD! Is she okay?

Hammerhead: Yeah, she's fine. She's real heavy. She's got a lot of padding. They got in the wreck cause they'd been drinking. And I asked "Did you have your seatbelts on?" and she said "We did by the time the cops showed up."

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

hammerhead vs. dentures

Hammerhead: Today I went to get fitted for my dentures and I made sure to let them know that I am very unhappy with them! The dentures they gave me give me buckteeth and I told the dentist "I look like a chinaman!"

Me: Oh. My. God. What did he say then?

Hammerhead: Oh he got real mad and said "This appointment is over!"

Me: Well gee, I wonder why he did that.

Hammerhead: Well...probably because he was Asian.