Saturday, June 18, 2011

hammerhead vs. scone day

ACT ONE

Hammerhead enters the office carrying two paper bags with grease stains on them, indicating something edible inside that diabetics probably aren't supposed to have. She's also carrying a paper plate with eight things of jelly and ten pats of butter.

Hammerhead: It's scone day in the cafeteria!

Me: Wow, how many did you get?

Hammerhead: Five. I got the biggest ones I could find. Look at this one! [It's truly massive and was obviously meant to be two scones that didn't get cut apart. She smears butter on it and dumps out a thing of jelly and the sucking noise of the jelly makes the scenario even more surreal.] MMMMM!

Nurse: Hammerhead, you're a diabetic. Are you supposed to be eating that?

Hammerhead: [through a mouthful of scone] Get off my back!


ACT TWO

There is a leak in the hallway that Hammerhead has taken a great interest in. After it rains maintenance always puts a bucket under it, but as I walked past it today I saw a sign posted by the bucket...in Hammerhead's handwriting. It says:

"Bucket filled within 2 inches of top at 4:15 am on 11/14.
Bucket filled 3/4 of the way to the top at 4:45 am on 11/15.
Questions? See BARB in next office."

1 comment:

  1. Please, please never stop posting these.

    I want to ask for more information about the bucket, but I'm afraid having any more information would ruin the magic.

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