Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Hammerhead vs. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Hammerhead: What's alopecia?

Me: Hair loss.

Hammerhead: SHHH! SHHHHHHH! Now let me ask Sharon. Sharon, what's alopecia?

Sharon: I don't know.

Hammerhead: HA HA! Stephanie knew what it was right off the bat!

Sharon: So? I don't care.

Hammerhead: Stephanie must have watched the millionaire show last night.

Me: Actually, I never watch that show. Bugs me.

[Hammerhead pulls out a ziploc bag of bacon and puts an entire piece in her mouth.]

Hammerhead: [chewing loudly] Well, last night this young mom went on — she was a single mom, working full time and going to school at nights — well, she went on and they asked her that question and she got it right! She was SO COCKY. Then they asked her who the Sherriff of Nottingham's arch enemy was. [More bacon-y chewing.] And the choices were...Robin Hood...um...oh, I forget the next choice...then Robinson Crusoe...and...oh, I forget the other one. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?? SHE SAID ROBINSON CRUSOE! Even a child knows the answer to that question!

[A nurse walks past and mutters under her breath, "Jesus, SHUT UP."]

Hammerhead [not hearing her, still busily masticating and spitting bacon shards on the floor in her excitement]: It was because she was so cocky! That's why she lost! That bitch!

3 comments:

  1. Tell the truth--aren't you ever tempted to quit because of her? Or is this blogging just cathartic enough to keep you sane? =o)

    --guy

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  2. I don't work with her anymore, these are just old stories about her that I emailed to friends before I knew about blogging. The emails kept me sane, and yes I was tempted to quit ALL the time.

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  3. OK, it's confession time - I love Who Wants to be a Millionaire. In mitigation I should point out that I live in a house where everyone likes watching quiz programmes; if there was only news, quizzes and sport on the TV I'd be very happy.

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