[I need to look up a statistic on a computer that is in Hammerhead's corner. It's not her primary computer, and in fact is as much mine as it is hers, but she will not let me touch it when she is around.]
Me: Hammerhead, I just need to get something off this computer real fast. (Instead of scooting over and letting me do it, she stops what she's doing and whirls around.)
Hammerhead: HUH? What do you need exactly?
Me: Just to look at a screen. (The monitor is off so I turn it on.)
Hammerhead: What did you do??? You turned it off!
Me: It's making noise. (I move the mouse to turn off the screensaver.)
Hammerhead: IT'LL COME! IT'LL COME!
Me: It will now that I moved the mouse. (The screen comes up.)
Hammerhead: This computer has a BLACK SCREEN TENDENCY. Now what is it that you need?
Me: To find out how many reportable cases we had in June.
Hammerhead: In the MONTH of June? In the month of June ITSELF??